JJ

You've heard it before - it seems to be true of most of the "cancer kids" - sweet ... loving ... gentle ... never asked "why?"

It's true.

There is so much I could tell you about JJ, but it would never be enough.

He was a thumb-rubber. Other kids love their blankets or pacifiers, JJ would hold your hand and rub your thumb.

He loved babies - his own or somebody else's. He would go up to any stroller in the mall and once he had the mother's permission, very gently touch the baby's face, hair and hands. JJ was four when his sister was born - he and his dad were "discussing" who got to drive her out of the hospital...JJ won. When his brother was born, there was no discussion...JJ drove. That was three weeks before he died.

JJ trusted us when we told him that part of his brain was sick and that the doctors were going to try and make it better. He didn't fight us during surgeries, radiation, chemo, supplements...he just did it.

He knew things.

He told us that "God and Jesus have big hands" to carry us up to Heaven. At bedtime one night he said that he didn't want to die. The book about Heaven reassured him, however, when he found out "no more pills?" And he knew that "the monster was coming back when the leaves were off the trees". He cried when, in his dream, "the smiling man at the gate wouldn't let him go through".

At 6:01pm on January 31st 2007, JJ went through the gate. He was 6 1/2 years old.

I miss him.